


Fuck It

by nackledamia



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Eventual jamilmads, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 23:26:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13646613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nackledamia/pseuds/nackledamia
Summary: James complemented him in every way.Alexander challenged him in every way.Thomas didn't want to choose.(Chap one is just jeffmads) (heads up)





	Fuck It

**Author's Note:**

> I tried my hand at a lot of new tropes I've never played with.
> 
> I've never written this kinda montage, complete omniscient narration before.
> 
> I honestly don't know if I like this or if I will continue this so let me know maybe

Thomas first met James when he was a newborn in the hospital.

Mrs Madison brought a 1-month-old James to Thomas’ cot and guided a mittened hand to wave at a sleeping Thomas. She told him, “James, this is Thomas. He is your new best friend. Say hello!”

Thomas and James grew up together. They were homeschooled together. They were taught the ways of politicians together; how to speak, how to hold themselves, how to present themselves.

They weren’t exactly best friends on sight.

Young Thomas was too rowdy for Young James. He was too loud, too aggressive. James silently disliked their lessons together because Thomas talked too much; he was inattentive and distracted. James felt that he never learnt much from lessons with Thomas.

James’ parents refused his request for a private tutor. They told him that the Jeffersons were close partners and friends and it would benefit James’ future career if he had a strong relationship with Thomas Jefferson. James grudgingly put up with Thomas.

Thomas on the other hand, didn’t understand James’ unwillingness to interact. He tried his best to involve James in his antics. He told James stories his nanny told him at bedtime, gesturing wildly in his excitement. He showed James how to do the classic Jefferson shuffle and was crestfallen when James refused to teach him the Madison deep-thought hand gestures. His parents had told him the Madisons were their close partners and friends, so why didn’t James want to be his friend?

 

It all changed when they were 8 years old.

James stole Mrs Jefferson’s brownies. In his defense, he didn’t know they were being left on the kitchen countertop to cool. He thought that it was a free-for-all; if you wanted a brownie, you took a brownie. James wanted all the brownies, so he took all the brownies.

When the plate of brownie crumbs was discovered, Thomas and James were called to the living room and questioned. James saw Thomas glance at him from his peripheral vision but he kept his arms clasped behind his back and his gaze on his feet. James bit his lip as the silence dragged on.

“It was me,” Thomas suddenly blurted and James shifted uncomfortably as Thomas was reprimanded for his mistake and grounded for the rest of the day.

James was to bring Thomas his dinner and entered his room with guilty eyes fixed on the ground. Thomas was throwing a pillow against the wall and stopped when James entered with his tray of food.

“Why’d you do it?” James asked as Thomas approached, gazing up quickly.

Thomas seemed surprised, then smiled.

“Because we’re friends,” Thomas said.

“Oh,” James responded stiffly, casting his gaze down to the food. He certainly hadn’t considered Thomas a friend.

“And because I want you to share the brownies with me next time,” Thomas added, taking the tray from James and heading towards his bed.

“Oh,” James repeated, finding himself relaxing with Thomas’ teasing response. A small smile lifted at his lips. Maybe Thomas wasn’t so bad after all.

James became a little more tolerant to Thomas’ wild behaviour. As James made less grouchy faces and presented more smiles, Thomas reciprocated by being a little more sensitive to James’ need for silence. 

James appreciated Thomas’ stubbornness, enthusiasm and persuasion. It often got them what they wanted and got them out of trouble.

There was more understanding between them, more helping, more cooperation. They grew closer; they told each other secrets, they defied rules together.

James was the logic behind Thomas’ crazy plans. He was the one who calculated their probability of success. He was the one who plotted out their action plan.

Thomas appreciated James’ thoughtful and careful approach to every problem they faced. He admired the way James was able to spot holes in plans, in arguments.

Their parents were pleased to see the boys finally getting along but Mrs Madison was quietly worried about how Thomas’ unruly behaviour was rubbing off on her sweet James.

 

When they were 12, Thomas and James participated in their first formal dinner. In the sea of adults, they clung on to each other and seamlessly worked as one. They answered questions posed by other politicians by completing each other’s sentences when the other was stuck.

At least, that was what they did until Thomas grabbed James’ arm and dragged him upstairs where they weren’t supposed to go. James tried to protest but Thomas pulled him into a dark room and lay against the door, sliding to the floor.

In the silence of the room, James realised that Thomas was breathing a little too loudly, a little unevenly. Through the light from the gap of the door, James saw Thomas’ trembling hands untie his bow tie and tug his collar away from his neck.

“Thomas?” James said softly, kneeling beside him. Thomas avoided his gaze.

Thomas swallowed before he responded.

“Too many people,” Thomas mumbled, his voice shaking. “Too many questions.”

“It’s okay,” James placed a hand on his arm. Thomas flinched but he didn’t pull away. “It’s just me now. We can stay here for the rest of the night.”

Thomas took a deep breath at his reassurance and James took it as a cue to shift closer. He sat down next to Thomas and slipped his hand into his. Thomas’ breathing slowly evened out and he rested his head on James’ shoulder.

“Thanks,” Thomas finally said. James didn’t respond, but Thomas knew that James was wearing his calm and reassuring smile. Thomas closed his eyes and relished in the companionship of his best friend.

 

They were 15 when puberty hit them hard.

Like all teens, they were conscious about their bodies. They both worked out and developed their muscles. Thomas was growing facial hair and James barely had any. James grumbled that Thomas’ growth spurt made him a whole head taller.

“All I have is my new low voice,” James complained, his back facing Thomas as he tugged his shirt off after a workout session and wiped himself with a towel before slipping into a singlet.

Thomas found his eyes dancing along James’ body. James was short but he was well built. As James turned to face him, Thomas admired his well crafted muscles through the singlet that clung onto his six pack.

“Thomas?” James brought Thomas out of his thoughts with a chuckle. Thomas wasn’t used to his new low rumbly voice, eyes darting up quickly to meet his gaze. James smiled and Thomas melted at the way his lips lifted; as subtle and as gentle as the mona lisa. His heart soared as he sank deep into James’ wide and worried eyes.

“What’s wrong?” James asked, reaching out to place a firm, caring hand on Thomas’ shoulder.

Thomas only shook his head dumbly in response.

Thomas yearned for more; wanted James to hold him closer, wanted to pull James closer.

In that instance, Thomas realised that he had a crush on his best friend.

 

They were 16 when they had their first kiss.

It was at Thomas’ sweet sixteen dinner party. It was a small party with both their families and some other important politicians. James wore the same dark grey suit he had worn a month ago at his own sweet sixteen party but Thomas opted to wear a shimmering indigo coloured suit complete with a magenta bow tie on his big day.

When the constant questioning became too overwhelming, they left the party and hid in Thomas’ room, leaving the lights off. They settled into a position grown familiar over the years; sitting against the door, hand-in-hand and Thomas’ head on James’ shoulder.

No longer kids, they couldn’t be more different with Thomas’ tall and lean figure and James being short and muscular. Thomas had to hunch a little to reach James’ shoulder but it was worth having James so near.

James was absent-mindedly humming a tune, rubbing his thumb in circles against Thomas’ hand.

“James?”

“Yeah?” James’ thumb stopped moving.

“Thanks for always being here for me.”

Thomas shifted and turned towards James, squeezing his hand.

James looked up at Thomas, in his sparkling indigo suit that shimmered in the little light they had from the gap of the door. Thomas offered James a shy smile and James’ heart fluttered.

It was the quiet side of Thomas that James treasured.

Thomas could be loud and daring and vibrant. He was always bursting with enthusiasm to try something new, or to defend his stance. He had charm and elegance and persuasion that James didn’t have, which helped them in their negotiations.

James was the only person to have seen Thomas’ other side; the quiet, gentle, nervous side of Thomas. A little anxious in crowds, a little withdrawn when pushed, and very precious to James.

Thomas was stunning, glowing in his perfectly tailored suit. James trailed his eyes up and admired the way the suit hugged Thomas’ figure in all the right places. He met Thomas’ eyes, wide and panicked and searching for a follow-up line to laugh at because James had stayed silent for too long.

James squeezed Thomas’ hand and Thomas relaxed.

“Always,” James assured, shifting closer.

Thomas’ loud exhale tickled his forehead.

“I love you,” Thomas suddenly whispered and caught James’ lips in a kiss.

James’ mind raced with the sudden turn of events. He had barely caught up with what was happening when Thomas released him.

_Thomas confessed and kissed him._

James blinked to see Thomas with his knees hugged to his chest, eyes cast to the ground, rocking beside him.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Thomas was muttering to himself, “stupid!”

_Thomas kissed me. I didn’t kiss him back._

James blinked again and moved on autopilot.

A hand on Thomas’ knee to stop his rocking. A finger on Thomas’ chin to tilt his head up. An arm around his shoulders pulling him closer.

James leaned forward and pressed his lips against Thomas’. Gentle. Soft. Perfect. 

The Madisons and the Jeffersons were close partners and friends and now, they were more than that.

James laughed quietly as they pulled apart.

“I love you too,” James confessed, feeling Thomas’ long arms snake around his waist and pull him back next to him so James was snuggled up against Thomas’ side.

“I love you,” Thomas repeated, more earnestly this time, kissing the top of James’ head.

James closed his eyes and smiled, letting Thomas’ simple presence in their otherwise empty surroundings fill him with warmth and love.

Thomas held James close and let his presence assure him that no matter what happened, they would always have each other. It was them against the world.

It had always been the both of them against the universe.

 

They were 18 when they joined the public school system and went to college.

They were 18 when they met Hamilton.

The most obnoxious, arrogant and annoying human being to have ever graced the earth.

TBC?

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought


End file.
